I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
