I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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