i just had sex bonerless
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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