Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize