She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
