The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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