So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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