I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
