a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
try to milk me bitch
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
