She went from zero to smokin in five shots
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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