I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
