Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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