I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
