I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
