so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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