just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize