Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
