piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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