Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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