Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i came on her dog
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
