a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think my moral compass just broke
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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