dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
