do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
