if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
