Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
