halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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