I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
