Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
how drunk are you?
Several
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
