He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
