nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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