A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
