yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
