You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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