Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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