i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
