Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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