69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
