I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
