i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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