So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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