Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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