i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i've created a new STD.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
