i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
