I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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