what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
