READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
