Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
