The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
