her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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