we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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