remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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