covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
