Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
