Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When are your genitals available?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
