Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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