Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
