They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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