p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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