I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize