one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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