Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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