My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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