Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
