I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize